Everybody know that studies serve for delight, for ornament, and for ability. Marking, though, is a right pain in the arse.
Soon, I should be handing back essays to all the wonderful Being Bad students. However, they haven't all been marked, and as it's not fair and equitable for some students to get their grades and feedback before others, no one will get them.
I expect this delay will annoy many - perhaps most - students. In their position, I'd be pretty pissed off too. However, I'm not in the position of anxiously waiting for the verdict on a piece of work that I sweated over for many weeks, and put heart and soul into. Neither am I desperately hoping that the last minute piece of crap I threw together on the morning of the deadline has just about managed to scrape a bare pass.
Instead, I'm in the position where I seem to be hacking my way through a never ending Amazonian jungle, and never getting any closer to the lost opera house I'm sure is somewhere around here. If you think that's a strange image to come up with, you should catch me when I've just spent several days, evenings, and nights marking dozens of very similar essays, knowing that I've still as many to do.
I'm not asking for any sympathy - it is, after all one of the things I'm paid to do. But it's not the only thing I'm contractually obliged to do, and not everything can be done at the same time.
Tuesday 29 June 2010
One of the seven deadly sins..
Envy! .
Envy has been historically considered as one of the seven deadly sins. Can we think that this feeling have been presented in everybody mind in at least in one occasion? I think that "envy" is a bad but natural feeling that people have suffered in some moment of their life. Everybody says that women used to feel more envy than man. Nevertheless, I believe that this behaviour is something common and recurrent in women and men. We used to feel envy when we realize that somebody has something that we want but we can not achieve. Sometimes this feeling of envy is something temporary, but the problem begins when people is not able to control their envy and it becomes in an obsession that generates hatred in our mind.
We should think that everybody life has positive and negative aspects, so we should not envy other person's life. Since, we are damaging our own mental stability and the only victim of this terrible feeling is going to be yourself. Therefore, we can say that envy is a really dangerous attitude that causes negative consequences for everybody.However, I think that this is an inevitable feeling, since sometimes we are weak and we used to think that our life is not as good as another person life.Taking this idea into account, I think that despite the fact that envy is not good at all, it is going to be present in society throughout centuries.
The next link is an interesting website about envy over a religious perspective; we can find on it why envy is considered a sin, the christian history of this "sin" among other curious information about it!
http://www.christians.org/misery/misery04.html
Envy has been historically considered as one of the seven deadly sins. Can we think that this feeling have been presented in everybody mind in at least in one occasion? I think that "envy" is a bad but natural feeling that people have suffered in some moment of their life. Everybody says that women used to feel more envy than man. Nevertheless, I believe that this behaviour is something common and recurrent in women and men. We used to feel envy when we realize that somebody has something that we want but we can not achieve. Sometimes this feeling of envy is something temporary, but the problem begins when people is not able to control their envy and it becomes in an obsession that generates hatred in our mind.
We should think that everybody life has positive and negative aspects, so we should not envy other person's life. Since, we are damaging our own mental stability and the only victim of this terrible feeling is going to be yourself. Therefore, we can say that envy is a really dangerous attitude that causes negative consequences for everybody.However, I think that this is an inevitable feeling, since sometimes we are weak and we used to think that our life is not as good as another person life.Taking this idea into account, I think that despite the fact that envy is not good at all, it is going to be present in society throughout centuries.
The next link is an interesting website about envy over a religious perspective; we can find on it why envy is considered a sin, the christian history of this "sin" among other curious information about it!
http://www.christians.org/misery/misery04.html
Sunday 13 June 2010
Body Modifications!
Body Modifications!
Whilst I believe it is correct in saying that we all modify our bodies - be it by shaving, cutting or painting nails, or applying make-up, I feel it is also true to say that people are judged on these basic and common modifications in addition to the uncommon and 'extreme' modifications. Indeed, we judge peoples' hair colour and style, we judge clothes and makeup, and we all have an opinion on those who refuse to wash or shave! So it pretty much stands to reason that we will judge those who have extreme modifications like large body-covering tattoos, or multiple piercings that make you squirm with just the thought of them being done on yourself-whether you admire or are repulsed by such modifications, they are just another judgement of someone elses appearance that we make about everyone all the time, just maybe more-so because they are uncommon (relatively) and are bold statements.
I personally am in awe of some of the extreme modifications! Maybe not in awe, but I appreciate and admire them to some extent - I think they are fiercely courageous against the social stigma and judgements that are going to follow. I think many are artistic and have wonderful intricate details (with regards to tattoos), and I respect the amount of pain and the permanance of such decisions, but I probably wouldn't like to look at it all day and certainly I personally wouldn't like to be confronted for example, with a face full of tattoos and piercings in the mirror every day - its just not my style! As for individuality - I think althought the tattoo itself my be a personal, sentimental representation, the act of having these extreme mods are not unique, infact, the opposite, they are another popular trend or fashion to fit in within sub-communities or groups that we asign ourselves to. for example, the 'corset back' in one of the pictures would have been a unique idea for the very first person to design it and have it done, but not so for the many hundreds or thousands who have follwed suit.
Here is some stuff on exteme modifications to make the men squirm - discussing a 'nullo' - a man who chooses to have his genitalia, both testicles and penis, removed for aesthetic and sexual purposes. Apparently, one of the many reasons one may choose to do this, castration was common in 17th and 18th century Italy, and used to produce the famous castrati, valued for their high-pitched singing voice. Ooo eck!
Whilst I believe it is correct in saying that we all modify our bodies - be it by shaving, cutting or painting nails, or applying make-up, I feel it is also true to say that people are judged on these basic and common modifications in addition to the uncommon and 'extreme' modifications. Indeed, we judge peoples' hair colour and style, we judge clothes and makeup, and we all have an opinion on those who refuse to wash or shave! So it pretty much stands to reason that we will judge those who have extreme modifications like large body-covering tattoos, or multiple piercings that make you squirm with just the thought of them being done on yourself-whether you admire or are repulsed by such modifications, they are just another judgement of someone elses appearance that we make about everyone all the time, just maybe more-so because they are uncommon (relatively) and are bold statements.
I personally am in awe of some of the extreme modifications! Maybe not in awe, but I appreciate and admire them to some extent - I think they are fiercely courageous against the social stigma and judgements that are going to follow. I think many are artistic and have wonderful intricate details (with regards to tattoos), and I respect the amount of pain and the permanance of such decisions, but I probably wouldn't like to look at it all day and certainly I personally wouldn't like to be confronted for example, with a face full of tattoos and piercings in the mirror every day - its just not my style! As for individuality - I think althought the tattoo itself my be a personal, sentimental representation, the act of having these extreme mods are not unique, infact, the opposite, they are another popular trend or fashion to fit in within sub-communities or groups that we asign ourselves to. for example, the 'corset back' in one of the pictures would have been a unique idea for the very first person to design it and have it done, but not so for the many hundreds or thousands who have follwed suit.
Here is some stuff on exteme modifications to make the men squirm - discussing a 'nullo' - a man who chooses to have his genitalia, both testicles and penis, removed for aesthetic and sexual purposes. Apparently, one of the many reasons one may choose to do this, castration was common in 17th and 18th century Italy, and used to produce the famous castrati, valued for their high-pitched singing voice. Ooo eck!
Saturday 12 June 2010
The Effects Of Lying In Relationships
The Effects Of Lying In Relationships
When was the last time you lied to your partner? And why did you do it?
It’s time to change this habit for good using this multi track recording the trust you have lost can be rebuild. Lying is habituated behaviour usually driven by either fear of someone feeling badly towards you or the desire to be 'accepted', or liked. I work to repattern these thoughts to allow you to express yourself truthfully and feel good about doing so.
Some people will struggle to remember the time or even the reason. But for other people the answer to the first question could well be ‘Today’. And there could be lots of answers to the second question.
Compulsive lying puts any relationship on an uncertain footing. Think how your partner must feel if they know you are more likely to tell a lie than the truth. If you were to quit being a liar however, and stop telling lies on a regular basis, you might be surprised by how much stronger your relationship will become over time.
Why do people lie to their partners?
Ironically the reason is often to protect their partner. For example, one man decided to start lying to his wife when his business started to have financial difficulties. Although he was trying to keep her from finding out the awful truth, it came out eventually anyway – and the fallout was much worse than it would have been had he decided to stop telling lies right from the start.
The constant lying meant that when his wife did find out, she immediately lost her trust in him. And that kind of trust takes a long time to rebuild.
The snowball effect
It could be that you think your little white lies are doing no harm to your relationship. But if this is the case then you might want to reconsider – because the only way to conserve the trust you have is to stop telling lies altogether.
You see, what often happens is that someone will tell a small lie to a partner in order to smooth over a situation or avoid a confrontation. It works perfectly, so the next time the situation comes up they do exactly the same thing. There seems to be no reason for them to stop telling lies because they are making the relationship more settled.
But gradually and surely the honesty and trust are both being eroded. The snowball effect also means that it becomes more and more tempting to lie about bigger things – even when there is no real reason to do so. It becomes harder to stop telling lies, and that slippery slope has led from a simple white lie to something much darker instead
(http://www.stoplying.net/stop-telling-lies.php?gclid=CNCUyNC9oqACFR88lAoddnlsZw)
When was the last time you lied to your partner? And why did you do it?
It’s time to change this habit for good using this multi track recording the trust you have lost can be rebuild. Lying is habituated behaviour usually driven by either fear of someone feeling badly towards you or the desire to be 'accepted', or liked. I work to repattern these thoughts to allow you to express yourself truthfully and feel good about doing so.
Some people will struggle to remember the time or even the reason. But for other people the answer to the first question could well be ‘Today’. And there could be lots of answers to the second question.
Compulsive lying puts any relationship on an uncertain footing. Think how your partner must feel if they know you are more likely to tell a lie than the truth. If you were to quit being a liar however, and stop telling lies on a regular basis, you might be surprised by how much stronger your relationship will become over time.
Why do people lie to their partners?
Ironically the reason is often to protect their partner. For example, one man decided to start lying to his wife when his business started to have financial difficulties. Although he was trying to keep her from finding out the awful truth, it came out eventually anyway – and the fallout was much worse than it would have been had he decided to stop telling lies right from the start.
The constant lying meant that when his wife did find out, she immediately lost her trust in him. And that kind of trust takes a long time to rebuild.
The snowball effect
It could be that you think your little white lies are doing no harm to your relationship. But if this is the case then you might want to reconsider – because the only way to conserve the trust you have is to stop telling lies altogether.
You see, what often happens is that someone will tell a small lie to a partner in order to smooth over a situation or avoid a confrontation. It works perfectly, so the next time the situation comes up they do exactly the same thing. There seems to be no reason for them to stop telling lies because they are making the relationship more settled.
But gradually and surely the honesty and trust are both being eroded. The snowball effect also means that it becomes more and more tempting to lie about bigger things – even when there is no real reason to do so. It becomes harder to stop telling lies, and that slippery slope has led from a simple white lie to something much darker instead
(http://www.stoplying.net/stop-telling-lies.php?gclid=CNCUyNC9oqACFR88lAoddnlsZw)
Friday 11 June 2010
ABORTION
Abortion!
This is a topic which I feel very strongly towards...I do not disagree with abortion but I do agree with bringing down the abortion deadline as I believe that the baby is a human at 24 weeks, as baby's have been born at this stage an gone on to live a normal life. " Our son was born at 24 weeks weighing 1 pound 9Oz" http://www.answerbag.com/
I Understand why people may consider abortion such as pregnancy by rape, or are not financially able to support the baby.I just don't understand why people leave it very late!! As the longer you leave it the more likely you are going to become attached to the baby and the abortion process is horrific at the final stage!
This is a topic which I feel very strongly towards...I do not disagree with abortion but I do agree with bringing down the abortion deadline as I believe that the baby is a human at 24 weeks, as baby's have been born at this stage an gone on to live a normal life. " Our son was born at 24 weeks weighing 1 pound 9Oz" http://www.answerbag.com/
I Understand why people may consider abortion such as pregnancy by rape, or are not financially able to support the baby.I just don't understand why people leave it very late!! As the longer you leave it the more likely you are going to become attached to the baby and the abortion process is horrific at the final stage!
Tuesday 8 June 2010
adultery,infidelity,affairs,cheating
Infidelity
Infidelity - a violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of an intimate relationship, which constitutes a significant breach of faith or a betrayal of core shared values with which the integrity of the relationship is defined. In common use, it describes an act of unfaithfulness to one’s husband, wife, or lover, whether sexual or non-sexual in nature.
Regarding infidelity, my personal opinion is this - there really is no justification of it. If a person does not want a to commit to a relationship with 'mutually agreed-upon rules' then make it clear! if you do commit, but later change your mind or meet someone new, then finish your relationship. Simples really, but in reality people tend to want their cake and eat it so to speak, and want the best of both worlds, knowing full well that those involved are not as willing and wouldn't be so compliant.
However, I also think that some people do not set out to cheat - as the cliche 'it just happened' is so often used. I expect it must be difficult for those faced with a decision to choose between someone they have been with for a long time, lifestyle, routine and maybe even family, and the new person they may have very well fallen in love with. However, people need to consider what they are risking before things get too far, and before the decisions become difficult.
Infidelity just doesn't affect those directly involved, it also has a large impact on those around - friends of the couple, family, and of course, the children - both those in the relationship, but also those conceived during the affair. I think it is highly irresponsible and selfish to commit infidelity when there are children involved. Thats not to say I believe you should stay in an unwanted relationship, I just think it is more considerate and responsible to end a relationship, and then start the other one at a later date to minimise the impact on all those involved.
Here's a general overview of infidelity ,it offers some reasoning and explanations for infidelity, an also some common signs that an adulterous person may display!
Infidelity - a violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of an intimate relationship, which constitutes a significant breach of faith or a betrayal of core shared values with which the integrity of the relationship is defined. In common use, it describes an act of unfaithfulness to one’s husband, wife, or lover, whether sexual or non-sexual in nature.
Regarding infidelity, my personal opinion is this - there really is no justification of it. If a person does not want a to commit to a relationship with 'mutually agreed-upon rules' then make it clear! if you do commit, but later change your mind or meet someone new, then finish your relationship. Simples really, but in reality people tend to want their cake and eat it so to speak, and want the best of both worlds, knowing full well that those involved are not as willing and wouldn't be so compliant.
However, I also think that some people do not set out to cheat - as the cliche 'it just happened' is so often used. I expect it must be difficult for those faced with a decision to choose between someone they have been with for a long time, lifestyle, routine and maybe even family, and the new person they may have very well fallen in love with. However, people need to consider what they are risking before things get too far, and before the decisions become difficult.
Infidelity just doesn't affect those directly involved, it also has a large impact on those around - friends of the couple, family, and of course, the children - both those in the relationship, but also those conceived during the affair. I think it is highly irresponsible and selfish to commit infidelity when there are children involved. Thats not to say I believe you should stay in an unwanted relationship, I just think it is more considerate and responsible to end a relationship, and then start the other one at a later date to minimise the impact on all those involved.
Here's a general overview of infidelity ,it offers some reasoning and explanations for infidelity, an also some common signs that an adulterous person may display!
Monday 7 June 2010
ABORTION
I think that abortion should be legal and available everywhere. If it wasn't numbers of women harming themselves in order to abort the baby themselves would soar. So would the numbers of unwanted and neglected children. I think abortion is up to each woman individually. The option should always be available.
Personally, I don't really agree with abortion. Especially in cases where women have had multiple abortions which have come from their own carelessness and drunken mistakes.
I think you should always follow pregnancies through. You cannot get rid of a life to fix your mistake.
But, what if you were raped? Where would you stand then? If you'd experienced something so traumatic, how could you bring a child up, when every time you looked at his/her face you just felt your pain and upset?
What if you were on the pill and fell pregnant just through a random chance? If you weren't expecting a baby then 9/10 you won't be prepared. Where would the money, time and space come from?! Is it better to abort the child then to bring it up in a home where it's not really wanted... let it have a hard life?
What if the baby is damaging the mothers health? Should she carry on with the pregnancy knowing she may die before/during birth?
One thing that i really don't agree with though, is the abortion limit of 24 weeks. I think this should be lowered, as babies born at 24 weeks have a 50% chance of survival. I think that's too high of a rate to be aborting at.
http://www.thelaboroflove.com/articles/pre-term-babies-chances-of-survival/
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Abortion/Pages/Introduction.aspx
Personally, I don't really agree with abortion. Especially in cases where women have had multiple abortions which have come from their own carelessness and drunken mistakes.
I think you should always follow pregnancies through. You cannot get rid of a life to fix your mistake.
But, what if you were raped? Where would you stand then? If you'd experienced something so traumatic, how could you bring a child up, when every time you looked at his/her face you just felt your pain and upset?
What if you were on the pill and fell pregnant just through a random chance? If you weren't expecting a baby then 9/10 you won't be prepared. Where would the money, time and space come from?! Is it better to abort the child then to bring it up in a home where it's not really wanted... let it have a hard life?
What if the baby is damaging the mothers health? Should she carry on with the pregnancy knowing she may die before/during birth?
One thing that i really don't agree with though, is the abortion limit of 24 weeks. I think this should be lowered, as babies born at 24 weeks have a 50% chance of survival. I think that's too high of a rate to be aborting at.
http://www.thelaboroflove.com/articles/pre-term-babies-chances-of-survival/
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Abortion/Pages/Introduction.aspx
Saturday 1 May 2010
Alcohol is seen by many as a more socially acceptable drug, but that’s not to say it’s any less powerful than other drugs. Technically speaking, it's a nervous system depressant, which means it slows down your body's responses in all kinds of ways. Just enough can make you feel great, too much and you’ll have a hangover the next day.
Slang: booze, bevvy
* The effects »
* Chances of getting hooked »
* The law »
* Appearance and use »
* Cost »
* Purity »
* The risks »
The effects
* Alcohol will often exaggerate whatever mood you're in when you start drinking.
* Alcohol is a relaxant so, in moderation, it can reduce feelings of anxiety and inhibitions, making you feel more sociable.
* It takes your body an hour to process one unit of alcohol.
Chances of getting hooked
Add clips -17
For most people, if you drink within the sensible limits for regular drinking, that's OK. But for some people drinking gradually gets out of control and results either in regular binge-drinking, heavy harmful drinking or alcoholism (alcohol dependence).
The law
Under 5 – It’s illegal to give an alcoholic drink to a child under 5 except in certain circumstances (e.g. under medical supervision).
Under 14 - A person under 14 can't go into a bar or pub unless the pub has a 'children's certificate'. Without this certificate they can only go into parts that aren't licensed and where alcohol is either sold but not drunk (e.g. a sales point away from the pub), OR drunk but not sold (e.g. a beer garden or family room).
14 or 15 – They can go anywhere in a pub but can't drink alcohol.
16 or 17 – They can buy (or be bought) beer or cider so long as it's bought to eat with a meal, but not in a bar (i.e. only in a place specifically set aside for meals).
Under 18 – With the exception of having a meal in a pub, it's against the law for anyone under 18 to buy alcohol in a pub, off-licence or supermarket. It's also illegal to buy alcohol in a pub for someone who's not 18.
Anyone over 18 can buy and drink alcohol legally in licensed premises in Britain.
Appearance and use
Add clips - 8
Alcohol comes in a whole range of different drinks. Spirits usually contain a higher level of alcohol to wine or lager. While ‘alcopops’ and ready-to-drink ‘mixers’ may not seem it, they usually contain more alcohol by volume than beer or cider.
Check the label as it often shows the number of alcohol ‘units’. Units are a good standard for measuring the level of alcohol you’re consuming and for comparing the strength of different drinks. One unit is half a pint of ordinary-strength beer, lager or cider, one small glass of table wine or a 25ml measure of spirits. Even a small (125ml) glass of wine is likely to be 1.5 units. For more information on how many units are found in common drinks, visit www.units.nhs.uk/
Prices vary depending on what you drink and the quality – say for instance, a premium whisky or older bottle of wine is more expensive than a pint of beer.
Because it's almost always legal and sold only in licensed premises, alcoholic drinks don’t usually contain anything in them that shouldn’t be there. In some circumstances, it is sensible to be careful and to try and make it difficult for anyone to ‘spike’ your drink.
* One drink too many can leave you feeling out of control – like slurring your words, losing your balance and vomiting.
* Official guidelines recommend that men shouldn’t regularly drink more than 3-4 units a day and women shouldn’t regularly drink more than 2-3 units a day because of the harm this may cause. The guidelines also recommend that after an episode of heavy drinking, it’s advisable to refrain from drinking for 48 hours to allow the tissues to recover.
* Psychological and physical dependence on alcohol can creep up on you. Tolerance gradually increases the more you drink excessively on a regular basis, so you may find you'll need more alcohol to reach the same state. In other words, you may seem to be getting better at holding your drink when that’s really a sign of a developing problem.
* Alcohol can make you mouthy, argumentative and aggressive. There’s no way of knowing beforehand if you’re going to turn into a nasty drunk.
* Serious overindulgence can lead to alcohol poisoning which could put you in a coma or even kill you.
* Alcohol is blamed for contributing to all kinds of problems in Britain, from violent crime to domestic violence and to car-related deaths.
* Long-term excessive use of alcohol causes illnesses such as liver damage, stomach cancer and heart disease.
Slang: booze, bevvy
* The effects »
* Chances of getting hooked »
* The law »
* Appearance and use »
* Cost »
* Purity »
* The risks »
The effects
* Alcohol will often exaggerate whatever mood you're in when you start drinking.
* Alcohol is a relaxant so, in moderation, it can reduce feelings of anxiety and inhibitions, making you feel more sociable.
* It takes your body an hour to process one unit of alcohol.
Chances of getting hooked
Add clips -17
For most people, if you drink within the sensible limits for regular drinking, that's OK. But for some people drinking gradually gets out of control and results either in regular binge-drinking, heavy harmful drinking or alcoholism (alcohol dependence).
The law
Under 5 – It’s illegal to give an alcoholic drink to a child under 5 except in certain circumstances (e.g. under medical supervision).
Under 14 - A person under 14 can't go into a bar or pub unless the pub has a 'children's certificate'. Without this certificate they can only go into parts that aren't licensed and where alcohol is either sold but not drunk (e.g. a sales point away from the pub), OR drunk but not sold (e.g. a beer garden or family room).
14 or 15 – They can go anywhere in a pub but can't drink alcohol.
16 or 17 – They can buy (or be bought) beer or cider so long as it's bought to eat with a meal, but not in a bar (i.e. only in a place specifically set aside for meals).
Under 18 – With the exception of having a meal in a pub, it's against the law for anyone under 18 to buy alcohol in a pub, off-licence or supermarket. It's also illegal to buy alcohol in a pub for someone who's not 18.
Anyone over 18 can buy and drink alcohol legally in licensed premises in Britain.
Appearance and use
Add clips - 8
Alcohol comes in a whole range of different drinks. Spirits usually contain a higher level of alcohol to wine or lager. While ‘alcopops’ and ready-to-drink ‘mixers’ may not seem it, they usually contain more alcohol by volume than beer or cider.
Check the label as it often shows the number of alcohol ‘units’. Units are a good standard for measuring the level of alcohol you’re consuming and for comparing the strength of different drinks. One unit is half a pint of ordinary-strength beer, lager or cider, one small glass of table wine or a 25ml measure of spirits. Even a small (125ml) glass of wine is likely to be 1.5 units. For more information on how many units are found in common drinks, visit www.units.nhs.uk/
Prices vary depending on what you drink and the quality – say for instance, a premium whisky or older bottle of wine is more expensive than a pint of beer.
Because it's almost always legal and sold only in licensed premises, alcoholic drinks don’t usually contain anything in them that shouldn’t be there. In some circumstances, it is sensible to be careful and to try and make it difficult for anyone to ‘spike’ your drink.
* One drink too many can leave you feeling out of control – like slurring your words, losing your balance and vomiting.
* Official guidelines recommend that men shouldn’t regularly drink more than 3-4 units a day and women shouldn’t regularly drink more than 2-3 units a day because of the harm this may cause. The guidelines also recommend that after an episode of heavy drinking, it’s advisable to refrain from drinking for 48 hours to allow the tissues to recover.
* Psychological and physical dependence on alcohol can creep up on you. Tolerance gradually increases the more you drink excessively on a regular basis, so you may find you'll need more alcohol to reach the same state. In other words, you may seem to be getting better at holding your drink when that’s really a sign of a developing problem.
* Alcohol can make you mouthy, argumentative and aggressive. There’s no way of knowing beforehand if you’re going to turn into a nasty drunk.
* Serious overindulgence can lead to alcohol poisoning which could put you in a coma or even kill you.
* Alcohol is blamed for contributing to all kinds of problems in Britain, from violent crime to domestic violence and to car-related deaths.
* Long-term excessive use of alcohol causes illnesses such as liver damage, stomach cancer and heart disease.
Friday 30 April 2010
Booze Britain: How cheap alcohol is turning our girls into drunken hooligans
Booze Britain: How cheap alcohol is turning our girls into drunken hooligans
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Following up our exclusive exposé on teen boozers, today we examine the toll it’s taking on young women, with more than 5,000 teenage girls ending up in hospital last year after binge-drinking.
It’s a common sight on Friday and Saturday nights – drunken kids staggering along our high streets.
Yesterday, the Mirror told how police are implementing Operation Staysafe, aimed at taking these young drinkers off the streets before they can cause trouble.
But one of the most shocking aspects of the “kiddie booze” epidemic is the number of female drinkers who are fuelling soaring crime rates – last year violent crimes by teenage girls reached a shocking 23,000, many of them alcohol-related.
Youth Justice Board figures show that assault is now the most common reason for girls to be arrested, while the number of crimes committed by women under 18 has more than tripled in the past seven years. For many, these statistics come as no surprise. As loutish behaviour among boys falls, female thugs are becoming more common.
The main cause appears to be cheap alcohol, with a third of 15-year-olds admitting being drunk at least once a week. Teenagers in the UK now drink more than almost anywhere in Europe. Last year, more than 5,000 schoolgirls ended up in hospital after binge-drinking – a menace that can often lead to violence and death.
Earlier this month, Lorna May, 17, of Newquay, Cornwall, died clutching an empty bottle after a drinking session at a party.
In February, former model Lisa Kee was jailed for two-and-a-half years after glassing a student in a bar. Also this year, Karina Maguire, 19, got a suspended sentence for stabbing a clubber in the face with her stiletto.
Meanwhile, Teen Queen UK contender Stephanie Crabtree, 17, was disqualified after it emerged she had assaulted two girls in a bloody street fight.
Celia Richardson, campaigns director at the Mental Health Foundation, says that booze is no answer to teen dilemmas.
“Our research has shown that many teenagers, particularly girls, drink because they think it helps them to deal with anxiety and anger,” she says.
“Many try to drink their way out of the situation but alcohol affects the part of your brain that controls your emotions, so any underlying feelings – such as anger or depression – are actually exaggerated.”
Rachel Seabrook, research manager at the Institute Of Alcohol Studies, adds: “One of the most dangerous effects of alcohol is the impact on judgment and reduced awareness. This dramatically increases the risks of problems from unsafe sex, to accidents and violence.”
Many girls believe that the after-effects of a drinking binge last no longer than the hangover. But the reality is very different.
Celia explains: “Frequent drinkers will find that their ability to cope with emotions is affected.
“Heavy drinkers will feel more anxious and need even more alcohol to numb those feelings.
“They end up trapping themselves in a vicious, destructive cycle.”
Here we look at two cases in which alcohol has caused violent chaos...
I laid into this bloke.. I felt invincible
Student April Charlotte Antoine, 17, lives in Harrow, NW London, with her mum.
The trouble is when I’ve had a drink – and the average on a night out would be up to nine shots and up to 10 Malibu and colas – I feel so confident, like I could take on the world. When I drink I feel invincible. I don’t see what could happen as a consequence of my actions and I really put myself in danger.
Twice now I’ve done stupid things that could have got me into a lot of trouble fuelled by a bout of binge-drinking.
The first time was when I was about 15. A friend and I had drunk loads of homemade fruit punch. We were standing at a bus stop and I think a bloke of about 30 tried to hit my friend. All I can remember is going absolutely mad. I laid into him and he ran. I immediately gave chase. When I caught him I beat him until he got away.
Afterwards, I remember my friend and I running up and down the road screaming after him. I felt like a hero. Now I know what he did wasn’t right but what I did was wrong, too – and stupid. What if he’d had a knife?
*
*
Following up our exclusive exposé on teen boozers, today we examine the toll it’s taking on young women, with more than 5,000 teenage girls ending up in hospital last year after binge-drinking.
It’s a common sight on Friday and Saturday nights – drunken kids staggering along our high streets.
Yesterday, the Mirror told how police are implementing Operation Staysafe, aimed at taking these young drinkers off the streets before they can cause trouble.
But one of the most shocking aspects of the “kiddie booze” epidemic is the number of female drinkers who are fuelling soaring crime rates – last year violent crimes by teenage girls reached a shocking 23,000, many of them alcohol-related.
Youth Justice Board figures show that assault is now the most common reason for girls to be arrested, while the number of crimes committed by women under 18 has more than tripled in the past seven years. For many, these statistics come as no surprise. As loutish behaviour among boys falls, female thugs are becoming more common.
The main cause appears to be cheap alcohol, with a third of 15-year-olds admitting being drunk at least once a week. Teenagers in the UK now drink more than almost anywhere in Europe. Last year, more than 5,000 schoolgirls ended up in hospital after binge-drinking – a menace that can often lead to violence and death.
Earlier this month, Lorna May, 17, of Newquay, Cornwall, died clutching an empty bottle after a drinking session at a party.
In February, former model Lisa Kee was jailed for two-and-a-half years after glassing a student in a bar. Also this year, Karina Maguire, 19, got a suspended sentence for stabbing a clubber in the face with her stiletto.
Meanwhile, Teen Queen UK contender Stephanie Crabtree, 17, was disqualified after it emerged she had assaulted two girls in a bloody street fight.
Celia Richardson, campaigns director at the Mental Health Foundation, says that booze is no answer to teen dilemmas.
“Our research has shown that many teenagers, particularly girls, drink because they think it helps them to deal with anxiety and anger,” she says.
“Many try to drink their way out of the situation but alcohol affects the part of your brain that controls your emotions, so any underlying feelings – such as anger or depression – are actually exaggerated.”
Rachel Seabrook, research manager at the Institute Of Alcohol Studies, adds: “One of the most dangerous effects of alcohol is the impact on judgment and reduced awareness. This dramatically increases the risks of problems from unsafe sex, to accidents and violence.”
Many girls believe that the after-effects of a drinking binge last no longer than the hangover. But the reality is very different.
Celia explains: “Frequent drinkers will find that their ability to cope with emotions is affected.
“Heavy drinkers will feel more anxious and need even more alcohol to numb those feelings.
“They end up trapping themselves in a vicious, destructive cycle.”
Here we look at two cases in which alcohol has caused violent chaos...
I laid into this bloke.. I felt invincible
Student April Charlotte Antoine, 17, lives in Harrow, NW London, with her mum.
The trouble is when I’ve had a drink – and the average on a night out would be up to nine shots and up to 10 Malibu and colas – I feel so confident, like I could take on the world. When I drink I feel invincible. I don’t see what could happen as a consequence of my actions and I really put myself in danger.
Twice now I’ve done stupid things that could have got me into a lot of trouble fuelled by a bout of binge-drinking.
The first time was when I was about 15. A friend and I had drunk loads of homemade fruit punch. We were standing at a bus stop and I think a bloke of about 30 tried to hit my friend. All I can remember is going absolutely mad. I laid into him and he ran. I immediately gave chase. When I caught him I beat him until he got away.
Afterwards, I remember my friend and I running up and down the road screaming after him. I felt like a hero. Now I know what he did wasn’t right but what I did was wrong, too – and stupid. What if he’d had a knife?
Thursday 29 April 2010
dreaming having sex with someone other than your wife/spouse
Not necessarily.
To dream about sex, refers to the psychological completion and the integration of contrasting aspects of the Self. You need to be more receptive and incorporate aspects of your dream sex partner into your own character. Alternatively and a more direct interpretation of the dream, may be your libido's way of telling you that it's been too long since you have had sex. It may indicate repressed sexual desires and your needs for physical and emotional love.
To dream about sex with someone other than your spouse or significant other, suggests dissatisfaction with the physical side of your relationship. On the other hand, it may be harmless fantasy. In such situations, you may find that you are less inhibited sexually and you can even bring that sense of adventure to your existing relationship.
To dream that you are having sex with an ex or someone who is not your current mate, denotes your reservations about embarking in a new relationship or situation. You may feel nervous about exposing yourself or currently feel a resurgence of those old emotions and feelings that you felt back when you and your ex were together. Believe it or not, it is not uncommon for people approaching their wedding to experience especially erotic adventures with partners other than their intended spouses. This may be due to the intensity of your sexual passion with your fiancé. It also relates to the new roles that you will be taking on and the uncertainty that that may bring.
If you are heterosexual and you dream that you are having sex with someone of the same sex, signifies not necessarily homosexual desire, but an expression of greater self love and acceptance. You need to be in better touch of your feminine or masculine side.
To dream that you are the opposite sex, suggests that you exhibit or need to incorporate those qualities of the opposite sex. Ask yourself, how do you feel being a man or a woman? In what ways can you incorporate those feelings into your waking life.
http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/s.htm
To dream about sex, refers to the psychological completion and the integration of contrasting aspects of the Self. You need to be more receptive and incorporate aspects of your dream sex partner into your own character. Alternatively and a more direct interpretation of the dream, may be your libido's way of telling you that it's been too long since you have had sex. It may indicate repressed sexual desires and your needs for physical and emotional love.
To dream about sex with someone other than your spouse or significant other, suggests dissatisfaction with the physical side of your relationship. On the other hand, it may be harmless fantasy. In such situations, you may find that you are less inhibited sexually and you can even bring that sense of adventure to your existing relationship.
To dream that you are having sex with an ex or someone who is not your current mate, denotes your reservations about embarking in a new relationship or situation. You may feel nervous about exposing yourself or currently feel a resurgence of those old emotions and feelings that you felt back when you and your ex were together. Believe it or not, it is not uncommon for people approaching their wedding to experience especially erotic adventures with partners other than their intended spouses. This may be due to the intensity of your sexual passion with your fiancé. It also relates to the new roles that you will be taking on and the uncertainty that that may bring.
If you are heterosexual and you dream that you are having sex with someone of the same sex, signifies not necessarily homosexual desire, but an expression of greater self love and acceptance. You need to be in better touch of your feminine or masculine side.
To dream that you are the opposite sex, suggests that you exhibit or need to incorporate those qualities of the opposite sex. Ask yourself, how do you feel being a man or a woman? In what ways can you incorporate those feelings into your waking life.
http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/s.htm
Wednesday 28 April 2010
gender betrayal
hursday, April 24, 2008
Gender Betrayal
Vazquez waits to disclose the fact that Mickey and Brian are heterosexual to make a rhetorical argument. Vazquez waits because as you are reading it is easy to write the story off as ‘another’ story of homophobic violence but because she almost tricks the reader Vazquez makes a stronger appeal to our emotions. If they were gay, then the situation couldn’t happen to ‘me’ or ‘you’, but since they are straight the story has an ‘it could happen to you tone. I do not believe the issue of antigay violence changes in any way when we recognize that sometimes its victims are heterosexual because they were still perceived as gay thus the violence is still homophobic. I think our argument in class focused on what was homophobic and what wasn’t but I understood Vazquez’s argument to have a different meaning. I think Vazquez’s most important point is that in American culture we are not allowed to stray from our respective genders. Whether you are gay, straight, or bi you are not accepted if you dress outside of what your gender is ‘supposed’ to wear. My stepmom wears skirts when she is in the courtroom even though I know she prefers to wear pants. Why wear a skirt? Because in central Indiana you are more likely to appeal to a male judge if you dress in a more matronly/womanly fashion.
Gender Betrayal
Vazquez waits to disclose the fact that Mickey and Brian are heterosexual to make a rhetorical argument. Vazquez waits because as you are reading it is easy to write the story off as ‘another’ story of homophobic violence but because she almost tricks the reader Vazquez makes a stronger appeal to our emotions. If they were gay, then the situation couldn’t happen to ‘me’ or ‘you’, but since they are straight the story has an ‘it could happen to you tone. I do not believe the issue of antigay violence changes in any way when we recognize that sometimes its victims are heterosexual because they were still perceived as gay thus the violence is still homophobic. I think our argument in class focused on what was homophobic and what wasn’t but I understood Vazquez’s argument to have a different meaning. I think Vazquez’s most important point is that in American culture we are not allowed to stray from our respective genders. Whether you are gay, straight, or bi you are not accepted if you dress outside of what your gender is ‘supposed’ to wear. My stepmom wears skirts when she is in the courtroom even though I know she prefers to wear pants. Why wear a skirt? Because in central Indiana you are more likely to appeal to a male judge if you dress in a more matronly/womanly fashion.
Tuesday 27 April 2010
My wife left me for a cyber love-rat'
David Bagg
David Bagg's wife left him for a man she met online
Matthew Chapman
By Matthew Chapman
Presenter of Radio 5 Live's Cyber Rats
As internet dating booms, both men and particularly women can leave themselves open to exploitation. Here, the tale of an online Romeo who managed to make six women fall in love with him at once.
Musician David Bagg is still in shock six months after his wife walked out on him for a man she had never set eyes on or even spoken to.
"This was like a bolt from the blue," the 41-year-old said.
I still love her despite what the internet did to our relationship
David Bagg
His wife Judy logged on to a website offering online healing last September. She e-mailed Joe Grice, the man who ran the website, asking for help with her arthritis.
Judy's e-mailing began innocently enough. She communicated regularly with Mr Grice for a few minutes every night with her husband's full knowledge.
Her husband said: "She had some concerns about her health and I thought if that helped her then fine. Quite quickly it became more secretive and she would be up in the computer room for hours in the evening."
online chats
Chatrooms have become increasingly popular
It was only from looking at his wife's e-mails after she disappeared that Mr Bagg realised what had been happening.
His wife had been meeting Mr Grice in a chatroom and their conversations sometimes lasted hours.
The messages became more explicit over time and Mr Grice eventually suggested he come over from the US to meet Judy.
Events came to a head last December when Judy took off.
Not the only one
Five of Judy's friends had also been in e-mail contact with Mr Grice. Amazingly, all six women, two PhD students among them, had fallen in love with this stranger over the course of two months.
One of them, Cheryl, an attractive postgraduate student aged 27 said: "I just can't explain it now. It became so intense it took over my whole life - and yes, I think I did love him in the end."
It was like love bombardment
Nicola
Her friend and fellow victim Nicola, 26, puts Mr Grice's prowess down to his ability to tell them what they wanted to hear.
She said: "It was like love bombardment. He kept saying how wonderful I was and I fell for it."
Mr Grice encouraged the developing bonds with a simple ruse.
First he instructed all the women not to talk to each other. Then he encouraged each one to tell him secrets about the others. He would then confront the women with these secrets which he said he had gained through his mystical powers.
At one stage the six women - who all lived in Oxford - were online, sometimes simultaneously, as Mr Grice persuaded them to perform sex acts on themselves and urged them to leave their partners.
It was only when Judy Bagg disappeared that the other five women came to their senses.
A 'guru' unmasked
Mr Grice is now living in Oxford. The BBC's 5 Live Report has established he is a 49-year-old ex-US Air Force Gulf War veteran who, at the time of his online seductions, was living in a tent in a friend's garden.
There is a tendency to give away a lot about yourself
Jenny Madden
He has left behind two children and an angry ex-wife who says she has spent several years trying to track him down to recoup a large number of child support payments.
Mr Grice has gone onto newsgroups to claim he is running clinical trials on ME in conjunction with Oxford Brooks University.
Yet the university authorities have never heard of him.
Neither Mr Grice or Mrs Bagg have commented on the affair.
Click here for love
Experts say the story serves as a cautionary tale of the potential power of the internet - and chat rooms in particular - to warp human relationships.
Internet cafe
An online community may feel safer than real life
The boom in internet dating is one area where the vulnerable can be manipulated.
Match.com, one of the largest dating websites, had 1.6 million people posting advertisements in 2001 and the figure is expected to double this year.
While the majority of dates may be successful, it still leaves a lot of lonely-hearts open to being exploited, particularly women, says Jenny Madden, the founder of Women in Cyberspace.
"Women find cyberspace comforting because they are not being judged by their looks," she says. "But they also leave themselves very open to manipulation because there is a tendency, in chat rooms particularly, to give away a lot about yourself very quickly."
David Bagg is hopeful he can someday be reunited with his wife.
"I still love her, despite what the Internet did to our relationship," he said.
David Bagg's wife left him for a man she met online
Matthew Chapman
By Matthew Chapman
Presenter of Radio 5 Live's Cyber Rats
As internet dating booms, both men and particularly women can leave themselves open to exploitation. Here, the tale of an online Romeo who managed to make six women fall in love with him at once.
Musician David Bagg is still in shock six months after his wife walked out on him for a man she had never set eyes on or even spoken to.
"This was like a bolt from the blue," the 41-year-old said.
I still love her despite what the internet did to our relationship
David Bagg
His wife Judy logged on to a website offering online healing last September. She e-mailed Joe Grice, the man who ran the website, asking for help with her arthritis.
Judy's e-mailing began innocently enough. She communicated regularly with Mr Grice for a few minutes every night with her husband's full knowledge.
Her husband said: "She had some concerns about her health and I thought if that helped her then fine. Quite quickly it became more secretive and she would be up in the computer room for hours in the evening."
online chats
Chatrooms have become increasingly popular
It was only from looking at his wife's e-mails after she disappeared that Mr Bagg realised what had been happening.
His wife had been meeting Mr Grice in a chatroom and their conversations sometimes lasted hours.
The messages became more explicit over time and Mr Grice eventually suggested he come over from the US to meet Judy.
Events came to a head last December when Judy took off.
Not the only one
Five of Judy's friends had also been in e-mail contact with Mr Grice. Amazingly, all six women, two PhD students among them, had fallen in love with this stranger over the course of two months.
One of them, Cheryl, an attractive postgraduate student aged 27 said: "I just can't explain it now. It became so intense it took over my whole life - and yes, I think I did love him in the end."
It was like love bombardment
Nicola
Her friend and fellow victim Nicola, 26, puts Mr Grice's prowess down to his ability to tell them what they wanted to hear.
She said: "It was like love bombardment. He kept saying how wonderful I was and I fell for it."
Mr Grice encouraged the developing bonds with a simple ruse.
First he instructed all the women not to talk to each other. Then he encouraged each one to tell him secrets about the others. He would then confront the women with these secrets which he said he had gained through his mystical powers.
At one stage the six women - who all lived in Oxford - were online, sometimes simultaneously, as Mr Grice persuaded them to perform sex acts on themselves and urged them to leave their partners.
It was only when Judy Bagg disappeared that the other five women came to their senses.
A 'guru' unmasked
Mr Grice is now living in Oxford. The BBC's 5 Live Report has established he is a 49-year-old ex-US Air Force Gulf War veteran who, at the time of his online seductions, was living in a tent in a friend's garden.
There is a tendency to give away a lot about yourself
Jenny Madden
He has left behind two children and an angry ex-wife who says she has spent several years trying to track him down to recoup a large number of child support payments.
Mr Grice has gone onto newsgroups to claim he is running clinical trials on ME in conjunction with Oxford Brooks University.
Yet the university authorities have never heard of him.
Neither Mr Grice or Mrs Bagg have commented on the affair.
Click here for love
Experts say the story serves as a cautionary tale of the potential power of the internet - and chat rooms in particular - to warp human relationships.
Internet cafe
An online community may feel safer than real life
The boom in internet dating is one area where the vulnerable can be manipulated.
Match.com, one of the largest dating websites, had 1.6 million people posting advertisements in 2001 and the figure is expected to double this year.
While the majority of dates may be successful, it still leaves a lot of lonely-hearts open to being exploited, particularly women, says Jenny Madden, the founder of Women in Cyberspace.
"Women find cyberspace comforting because they are not being judged by their looks," she says. "But they also leave themselves very open to manipulation because there is a tendency, in chat rooms particularly, to give away a lot about yourself very quickly."
David Bagg is hopeful he can someday be reunited with his wife.
"I still love her, despite what the Internet did to our relationship," he said.
Monday 26 April 2010
Marriage - A Message to the Youth
Marriage has become a very big issue today. If someone thinks about Marriage they immediately think of all the stress, hassle and the responsibilities. Many people share a common view that first they have to finish off all their studies, then save a lot of money, buy a house and then they can get married. But by then he is 30 years old and he finds out that it's hard to find a wife, and therefore gets stressed. Youths who are in colleges and universities date with different girls every week, go to such lengths and stress themselves out over what? To commit a sin, but yet they wouldn't want to get married because marriage has become such a big hassle. The reality is that marriage is very simple. However, unfortunately due to nonsense traditions surrounding the matter and the lack of knowledge, marriage seems to be a very difficult thing.
Marriage is such a blessed act which is a solution to adultery and a means of producing an educated, civilized community. Because marriage has become a difficult and expensive matter, adultery and fornication has become a normal thing in today's society, even becoming widespread within the Arab Muslim world. Students casually go on their holidays or book into hotels and fulfil their needs, because they can't afford to pay the dowry. Before marriage became expensive and stressful it was simple and adultery was a very difficult task.
http://www.inter-islam.org/Actions/marriagey.htm
Sunday 25 April 2010
adultery,infidelity,affairs,cheating
idelity, Affairs, Cheating Spouse, Divorce, Investigations, 7Day Detective
Adultery brings fear, denial, and financial ruin. Any form of adultery puts your life on hold and your finances at risk. Whether your partner is starting to wander off or involved in a full-blown affair, you need to know and know NOW, so that you can make choices that are right for YOU. The More You Know is a highly practical and comprehensive guide to getting the proof you need and using it to YOUR advantage. Together we can get the truth and quickly!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tips on Selecting a Reputable Private Investigator
Tips on Selecting a Reputable Private Investigator
This article is meant to provide advice on how to select a qualified private investigator and how to ensure that they are reliable. The most common misconception is that private detectives can usually be found hiding in bushes or hanging out in nightclubs and all-night diners. Modern-day investigators don’t reflect their Hollywood characters.
In order to remain inconspicuous, private detectives always dress accordingly and use props that enable them to blend in with their surroundings. A good detective will have the ability to quickly adapt to a specific environment, or engage an associate who may be better suited for the task.
An experienced private detective can provide a broad array of services. Many detective agencies in today’s society specialize in providing computer-based research such as locating debtors (skip-tracing). They also may specialize in conducting pre-employment and pre-marital checks, identifying hidden or moved assets (think late on the payments for the jet ski), and criminal background checks. Private investigators are routinely engaged in domestic cases. They may also work undercover (such as in a corporate environment) or provide assistance in criminal defense. Although an imaginative investigator can offer services unknown and unlearned to the average American, new technologies such as GPS allow anyone to conduct surveillance to determine the whereabouts of any individual at any moment in time.
Most private investigators are experienced in the art of surveillance. With today’s technology it is expected that investigators record video footage of their targets. Parents wanting their teens observed on prom night and other social occasions; suspected acts of infidelity; and investigations of an alleged unfit parent during a custody battle are but a few examples where surveillance can be required. Private investigators regularly conduct surveillance on insurance claimants to determine the legitimacy of an injury or to ensure that the applicant is not working while drawing benefits. Quality video or photo evidence can make or break legal work further down the process, making it worthwhile to everyone involved. Depending on the type of practice, most trial attorneys will ultimately need an investigator to conduct some sort of surveillance on an opposing party.
To begin your search, depending on your jurisdiction, start by checking on credentials. Private detectives are trained, licensed, educated, and regulated in many different ways depending on the state. Surprisingly, states still exist that do not require an investigator to obtain a license or work under regulations. If your state has a licensing agency, contact them for research in order to ensure that the individual (or company) is certified and has no complaints with that department. By asking a few simple questions, you may be able to avoid possible legal or ethical issues later.
Once you have narrowed down your list of possibilities, contact all the necessary state, county, or city agencies to inquire (or verify) that an individual or company has an up-to-date business license. Don’t forget to check under both the company and the individual’s names since a business license could be applied for and modified rather easily. A business license will tell you when the company was formed, it’s structure (a corporation or a partnership), and who its officers are. Cross-reference any names listed with the state’s listing of licensed investigators to create a list of all individuals who are licensed by that company. Even better, if the company is incorporated, contact your secretary of state’s office to inquire as to its status there.
Adultery brings fear, denial, and financial ruin. Any form of adultery puts your life on hold and your finances at risk. Whether your partner is starting to wander off or involved in a full-blown affair, you need to know and know NOW, so that you can make choices that are right for YOU. The More You Know is a highly practical and comprehensive guide to getting the proof you need and using it to YOUR advantage. Together we can get the truth and quickly!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tips on Selecting a Reputable Private Investigator
Tips on Selecting a Reputable Private Investigator
This article is meant to provide advice on how to select a qualified private investigator and how to ensure that they are reliable. The most common misconception is that private detectives can usually be found hiding in bushes or hanging out in nightclubs and all-night diners. Modern-day investigators don’t reflect their Hollywood characters.
In order to remain inconspicuous, private detectives always dress accordingly and use props that enable them to blend in with their surroundings. A good detective will have the ability to quickly adapt to a specific environment, or engage an associate who may be better suited for the task.
An experienced private detective can provide a broad array of services. Many detective agencies in today’s society specialize in providing computer-based research such as locating debtors (skip-tracing). They also may specialize in conducting pre-employment and pre-marital checks, identifying hidden or moved assets (think late on the payments for the jet ski), and criminal background checks. Private investigators are routinely engaged in domestic cases. They may also work undercover (such as in a corporate environment) or provide assistance in criminal defense. Although an imaginative investigator can offer services unknown and unlearned to the average American, new technologies such as GPS allow anyone to conduct surveillance to determine the whereabouts of any individual at any moment in time.
Most private investigators are experienced in the art of surveillance. With today’s technology it is expected that investigators record video footage of their targets. Parents wanting their teens observed on prom night and other social occasions; suspected acts of infidelity; and investigations of an alleged unfit parent during a custody battle are but a few examples where surveillance can be required. Private investigators regularly conduct surveillance on insurance claimants to determine the legitimacy of an injury or to ensure that the applicant is not working while drawing benefits. Quality video or photo evidence can make or break legal work further down the process, making it worthwhile to everyone involved. Depending on the type of practice, most trial attorneys will ultimately need an investigator to conduct some sort of surveillance on an opposing party.
To begin your search, depending on your jurisdiction, start by checking on credentials. Private detectives are trained, licensed, educated, and regulated in many different ways depending on the state. Surprisingly, states still exist that do not require an investigator to obtain a license or work under regulations. If your state has a licensing agency, contact them for research in order to ensure that the individual (or company) is certified and has no complaints with that department. By asking a few simple questions, you may be able to avoid possible legal or ethical issues later.
Once you have narrowed down your list of possibilities, contact all the necessary state, county, or city agencies to inquire (or verify) that an individual or company has an up-to-date business license. Don’t forget to check under both the company and the individual’s names since a business license could be applied for and modified rather easily. A business license will tell you when the company was formed, it’s structure (a corporation or a partnership), and who its officers are. Cross-reference any names listed with the state’s listing of licensed investigators to create a list of all individuals who are licensed by that company. Even better, if the company is incorporated, contact your secretary of state’s office to inquire as to its status there.
Saturday 24 April 2010
tattooing The tattoo
tattooing The tattoo — an indelible coloured image on the skin, is historically the most commonly practised form of permanent body decoration. Tattooing is thought to have diffused from Egypt about four thousand years ago; it has been found since then in most cultures of the world, though among dark-skinned peoples incised decoration (scarification, cicatrization) is a more common form of permanent alteration. Carved figures suggestive of tattooing survive in Egypt from 6000 bce but the physical evidence of mummified bodies dates from Middle Kingdom Egypt (c.2000 bce). Widespread archaeological and literary evidence of tattooing since the seventh century bce exists for many parts of Eurasia, and ethnographic evidence for these and other parts of the world, including the Americas, Africa, Polynesia, and New Zealand, has been collected since the sixteenth century.
The technique involves puncturing the dermis with a needle or other sharp instrument to a depth of 0.25–0.5 cm and simultaneously applying a dark pigment. The pigment rests in linear strata in the dermis; the fading and blurring of older tattoos is due to local dispersal of pigment through the lymphatic system. Small-scale needle tattoos are relatively painless, unless on sensitive areas of the body, but elaborate or semi-incised designs are a more severe ordeal. Temporary local inflammation may occur; more serious medical complications may develop where hygienic standards are poor (for example, from cross-infections through contaminated needles, or from use of harmful pigments), though more rarely than might be expected. Tattoos can be removed by various means, including dermabrasion, excision and suturing, and laser surgery, though usually with some residual scarring.
In pre-literate societies where tattooing is culturally embedded, the practice is normally highly ritualized, and alongside its decorative value it carries information about status and identity, as well as religious, therapeutic, or prophylactic significance. Designs are enormously varied in imagery and location, from the elaborate geometrical designs across arms, legs, and abdomen of Burma or the Marquesas; to the miniature stylized images of Gujarati tattooing; the elaborate curvilinear form of New Zealand moko tattooing on men, which combined incision and pigmentation to produce individually unique facial designs; or the vivid figurative images of Japanese irezumi, derived from eighteenth-century wood-block illustrations and patterned onto the body like ornate clothing. The English term ‘tattoo’ (from the Polynesian tatu/tatau — mark, strike), versions of which were adopted into other European languages, testifies to the profound significance of the eighteenth-century encounter with the Pacific cultures for the spread of tattooing in modern Europe. Alternative and older European words, carrying connotations of marking or piercing (e.g. English ‘pounce’, Dutch ‘prickschilderen’, French ‘piqûre’), suggest that tattooing must have been known in Europe before its eighteenth-century reimportation and renaming, but the extent of its survival from the Scythian, Celtic, and Germanic customs documented in classical sources (e.g. Herodotus, Tacitus) is unclear. Greeks and Romans disdained the practice as barbarian; in the Roman empire it was used only on criminals, slaves/indentured labourers, and soldiers. This outcast association was strengthened when the medieval western Church picked up and repeated the biblical proscription of body-marking (cf. Lev. 19:28). There is thus little reference to tattooing in medieval and early modern Europe — but there is scattered evidence of its popular survival within Europe or on its margins. Tattoos were certainly acquired by European crusaders and pilgrims in Jerusalem, as also by pilgrims to the medieval Italian shrine of Loreto and by Coptic Christians and Bosnian Catholics. However, decorative tattooing was largely effaced from European cultural memory before the eighteenth century, and its recurrence was marked by the absorption of a new and diverse repertoire of secular images from popular culture, many of which remain familiar today. (A similar process of cultural forgetting and marginalization seems to have occurred in Japan, where a revival of highly skilled tattoo artistry coexisted with more strenuous official attempts to suppress it in the nineteenth century.)
Even after its eighteenth-century reimportation, via European sailors, from Polynesia and New Zealand, and a brief period as an exotic novelty, tattooing retained its association with disreputability, though to differing degrees. In continental Europe, it was regarded as the habit of common soldiers, sailors, labourers, and criminals, or was displayed by fairground and freak-show entertainers. In Britain, by contrast, tattoo images were widely sported by naval and military officers, despite the fact that tattoos were also used as penal marks in the army until the 1870s; little social stigma attached to the practice, and its adoption by aristocrats and royalty helped spark a tattooing craze around the turn of the century that spread throughout Europe and the US. Britain and the US also saw the first professionalization of tattooing, the invention (1891) of an electrical tattooing machine, and the improvement of techniques and inks. This period of popularity was short-lived, however, and the 1920s–50s saw the social and aesthetic decline of tattooing in Western culture. However, since the 1960s successive periods of reinvention and expansion have given it an unprecedented prominence and visibility, and women have entered this previously largely male domain. The tattoo is currently enjoying a cultural renaissance, alongside and perhaps by contrast with other body-altering practices of scarifying, branding, and extensive piercing, which have entered modern Western culture for the first time.
Medical interest in the tattoo since the nineteenth century has included research into its anatomy and pathology, its applications in cosmetic surgery, and means of its removal. In modern scholarship, tattooing has been the province of anthropology for pre-literate societies, and of criminology, sociology, and psychology for non-tribal societies. Thus in the West it has been largely pathologized as the expression of a marginal subculture of resistance, associated especially with communities of male confinement and group identification. Only recently has this perspective shifted, and the history, ethnography, and aesthetics of tattooing in the West become more serious subjects of study.
The technique involves puncturing the dermis with a needle or other sharp instrument to a depth of 0.25–0.5 cm and simultaneously applying a dark pigment. The pigment rests in linear strata in the dermis; the fading and blurring of older tattoos is due to local dispersal of pigment through the lymphatic system. Small-scale needle tattoos are relatively painless, unless on sensitive areas of the body, but elaborate or semi-incised designs are a more severe ordeal. Temporary local inflammation may occur; more serious medical complications may develop where hygienic standards are poor (for example, from cross-infections through contaminated needles, or from use of harmful pigments), though more rarely than might be expected. Tattoos can be removed by various means, including dermabrasion, excision and suturing, and laser surgery, though usually with some residual scarring.
In pre-literate societies where tattooing is culturally embedded, the practice is normally highly ritualized, and alongside its decorative value it carries information about status and identity, as well as religious, therapeutic, or prophylactic significance. Designs are enormously varied in imagery and location, from the elaborate geometrical designs across arms, legs, and abdomen of Burma or the Marquesas; to the miniature stylized images of Gujarati tattooing; the elaborate curvilinear form of New Zealand moko tattooing on men, which combined incision and pigmentation to produce individually unique facial designs; or the vivid figurative images of Japanese irezumi, derived from eighteenth-century wood-block illustrations and patterned onto the body like ornate clothing. The English term ‘tattoo’ (from the Polynesian tatu/tatau — mark, strike), versions of which were adopted into other European languages, testifies to the profound significance of the eighteenth-century encounter with the Pacific cultures for the spread of tattooing in modern Europe. Alternative and older European words, carrying connotations of marking or piercing (e.g. English ‘pounce’, Dutch ‘prickschilderen’, French ‘piqûre’), suggest that tattooing must have been known in Europe before its eighteenth-century reimportation and renaming, but the extent of its survival from the Scythian, Celtic, and Germanic customs documented in classical sources (e.g. Herodotus, Tacitus) is unclear. Greeks and Romans disdained the practice as barbarian; in the Roman empire it was used only on criminals, slaves/indentured labourers, and soldiers. This outcast association was strengthened when the medieval western Church picked up and repeated the biblical proscription of body-marking (cf. Lev. 19:28). There is thus little reference to tattooing in medieval and early modern Europe — but there is scattered evidence of its popular survival within Europe or on its margins. Tattoos were certainly acquired by European crusaders and pilgrims in Jerusalem, as also by pilgrims to the medieval Italian shrine of Loreto and by Coptic Christians and Bosnian Catholics. However, decorative tattooing was largely effaced from European cultural memory before the eighteenth century, and its recurrence was marked by the absorption of a new and diverse repertoire of secular images from popular culture, many of which remain familiar today. (A similar process of cultural forgetting and marginalization seems to have occurred in Japan, where a revival of highly skilled tattoo artistry coexisted with more strenuous official attempts to suppress it in the nineteenth century.)
Even after its eighteenth-century reimportation, via European sailors, from Polynesia and New Zealand, and a brief period as an exotic novelty, tattooing retained its association with disreputability, though to differing degrees. In continental Europe, it was regarded as the habit of common soldiers, sailors, labourers, and criminals, or was displayed by fairground and freak-show entertainers. In Britain, by contrast, tattoo images were widely sported by naval and military officers, despite the fact that tattoos were also used as penal marks in the army until the 1870s; little social stigma attached to the practice, and its adoption by aristocrats and royalty helped spark a tattooing craze around the turn of the century that spread throughout Europe and the US. Britain and the US also saw the first professionalization of tattooing, the invention (1891) of an electrical tattooing machine, and the improvement of techniques and inks. This period of popularity was short-lived, however, and the 1920s–50s saw the social and aesthetic decline of tattooing in Western culture. However, since the 1960s successive periods of reinvention and expansion have given it an unprecedented prominence and visibility, and women have entered this previously largely male domain. The tattoo is currently enjoying a cultural renaissance, alongside and perhaps by contrast with other body-altering practices of scarifying, branding, and extensive piercing, which have entered modern Western culture for the first time.
Medical interest in the tattoo since the nineteenth century has included research into its anatomy and pathology, its applications in cosmetic surgery, and means of its removal. In modern scholarship, tattooing has been the province of anthropology for pre-literate societies, and of criminology, sociology, and psychology for non-tribal societies. Thus in the West it has been largely pathologized as the expression of a marginal subculture of resistance, associated especially with communities of male confinement and group identification. Only recently has this perspective shifted, and the history, ethnography, and aesthetics of tattooing in the West become more serious subjects of study.
Friday 23 April 2010
5 Bad Comedians that Deserve to Be Out of Work
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5 Bad Comedians that Deserve to Be Out of Work
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Phil Dotree
Published April 27, 2007 by:
Phil Dotree
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More:ComediansAndrew Dice ClayOut of WorkCarlos Mencia
Comedians should be funny, right?
Apparently some people didn't get the memo.
Some comedians are annoying enough that the public eventually turns against them, brutally ripping them out of the spotlight (Gallagher and Carrot Top know the feeling). Some comedians get enough mileage from their tired acts to stay famous. Here's a list of a few comedians that don't deserve to stay famous.
1. Adam Sandler. Remember that movie of his where he climbed into the piano and said in the funny voice, "hey, everybody, look at me, I'm the piano man!" How about the one where he duct-taped a stool to his chest and said in the funny voice, "hey, everybody, look at me, I'm Captain Stool Shirt!" No? Well, they'll be coming to a theater near you soon enough once Sandler gets through his "I'm a serious actor" phase. You're not Jim Carrey, you douche bag, and the transition's never going to happen.
2. Carlos Mencia. There are some rumors on the old Intertubes that Mencia isn't really a Mexican. I think that's beside the point--he's not funny. In fact, there are funnier pinatas. He sucks the funny out of rooms; if you don't believe me, watch back-to-back episodes of Mind of Mencia and the Chappelle Show. You'll actually un-laugh everything you just laughed, and you may end up hating Mexicans, which, quite frankly, isn't fair. They didn't judge us on Adam Sandler, people.
3. Andrew Dice Clay. Who would have thought that you're not automatically funny every time you make a misogynist joke and then shout, "OOOH!"? Not Andrew Dice Clay, who's made a gradually diminishing salary on that shtick since the late '80s. There's a special place in Hell reserved for unwatchable TV shows, and his new reality show should soon join Joanie Loves Chachi there.
4. Dat Phan & Margaret Cho. I'm classifying these two comedians together because they've essentially got the same act--"my parents behave according to traditional Asian values which are sharply juxtaposed with American culture! Also, they mix up their R's and L's!" These two suck because they've somehow found a way to make Asian accents not hilarious.
2. Arts & Entertainment »
3. People
5 Bad Comedians that Deserve to Be Out of Work
Adjust font-size: + –
Phil Dotree
Published April 27, 2007 by:
Phil Dotree
View Profile | Follow | Add to Favorites
More:ComediansAndrew Dice ClayOut of WorkCarlos Mencia
Comedians should be funny, right?
Apparently some people didn't get the memo.
Some comedians are annoying enough that the public eventually turns against them, brutally ripping them out of the spotlight (Gallagher and Carrot Top know the feeling). Some comedians get enough mileage from their tired acts to stay famous. Here's a list of a few comedians that don't deserve to stay famous.
1. Adam Sandler. Remember that movie of his where he climbed into the piano and said in the funny voice, "hey, everybody, look at me, I'm the piano man!" How about the one where he duct-taped a stool to his chest and said in the funny voice, "hey, everybody, look at me, I'm Captain Stool Shirt!" No? Well, they'll be coming to a theater near you soon enough once Sandler gets through his "I'm a serious actor" phase. You're not Jim Carrey, you douche bag, and the transition's never going to happen.
2. Carlos Mencia. There are some rumors on the old Intertubes that Mencia isn't really a Mexican. I think that's beside the point--he's not funny. In fact, there are funnier pinatas. He sucks the funny out of rooms; if you don't believe me, watch back-to-back episodes of Mind of Mencia and the Chappelle Show. You'll actually un-laugh everything you just laughed, and you may end up hating Mexicans, which, quite frankly, isn't fair. They didn't judge us on Adam Sandler, people.
3. Andrew Dice Clay. Who would have thought that you're not automatically funny every time you make a misogynist joke and then shout, "OOOH!"? Not Andrew Dice Clay, who's made a gradually diminishing salary on that shtick since the late '80s. There's a special place in Hell reserved for unwatchable TV shows, and his new reality show should soon join Joanie Loves Chachi there.
4. Dat Phan & Margaret Cho. I'm classifying these two comedians together because they've essentially got the same act--"my parents behave according to traditional Asian values which are sharply juxtaposed with American culture! Also, they mix up their R's and L's!" These two suck because they've somehow found a way to make Asian accents not hilarious.
Thursday 22 April 2010
Types of Infedility
Types of Cheating:
If you have ever been the victim of infidelity the first question you probably asked was "why?" The consequences of infidelity are numerous and it is only natural to want to know why your spouse chose to cheat.
Each case of infidelity is different and serves a different purpose. I doubt knowing why a spouse cheated will lessen any pain you feel but being able to rationalize the behavior and define it will alleviate some confusion. It will also help you either heal your marriage or move on more quickly should you decide to divorce. Below is a list of reasons for infidelity.
Opportunistic Infidelity:
This type of infidelity occurs when a partner is in love and attached to a spouse, but succumbs to their sexual desire for someone else. Typically, this type of cheating is driven by situational circumstances or opportunity, risk-taking behavior, and alcohol or drug use. The more in love a person is with their spouse, the more guilt he/she will experience as a result of their sexual encounter. However, feelings of guilt tend to fade as the fear of being caught subsides.
Obligatory Infidelity:
This type of infidelity is based on fear. Fear that resisting someone's sexual advances will result in rejection. People may have feelings of sexual desire, love and attachment for a spouse, but still end up cheating because they have a strong need for approval. In addition, their need for approval can cause them to act in ways that are at odds with their other feelings. In other words, some people cheat, not because they want to cheat, but because they need the approval that comes along with a having the attention of others.
Romantic Infidelity:
This type of infidelity occurs when the cheater has very little emotional attachment to his/her spouse. They may be committed to their marriage and making it work but they long for an intimate, loving connection with a member of the opposite sex. More than likely their commitment to the marriage will prevent them from ever leaving their spouse. Romantic infidelity means pain for the other man/other woman and the cheating spouse.
Rarely does it turn into a long-term, committed relationship. Marital problems have to be quite severe before a spouse will leave the marriage for another person.
Conflicted Romantic Infidelity:
This type of infidelity occurs when people experience genuine love and sexual desire for more than one person at a time. Despite our idealistic notions of having only one true love, it is possible to experience intense romantic love for multiple people at the same time. While such situations are emotionally possible, they are very complicated and tend to create a lot of anxiety and stress. In this case, cheating spouses, in their attempt not to cause anyone harm, often end up hurting everyone.
Commemorative Infidelity:
This type of infidelity occurs when people are in a committed relationship, but have no feelings for that person. There is no sexual desire, or love or attachment, only a sense of commitment keeps a couple together. These people justify cheating by telling themselves they have the right to look for what they are not getting in their present relationship.
It is important, for the sake of appearances that the present relationship last. The cheater does not want to be viewed as a failure so they stay in an unhappy relationship and seek to fulfill their needs outside the relationship.
If you have ever been the victim of infidelity the first question you probably asked was "why?" The consequences of infidelity are numerous and it is only natural to want to know why your spouse chose to cheat.
Each case of infidelity is different and serves a different purpose. I doubt knowing why a spouse cheated will lessen any pain you feel but being able to rationalize the behavior and define it will alleviate some confusion. It will also help you either heal your marriage or move on more quickly should you decide to divorce. Below is a list of reasons for infidelity.
Opportunistic Infidelity:
This type of infidelity occurs when a partner is in love and attached to a spouse, but succumbs to their sexual desire for someone else. Typically, this type of cheating is driven by situational circumstances or opportunity, risk-taking behavior, and alcohol or drug use. The more in love a person is with their spouse, the more guilt he/she will experience as a result of their sexual encounter. However, feelings of guilt tend to fade as the fear of being caught subsides.
Obligatory Infidelity:
This type of infidelity is based on fear. Fear that resisting someone's sexual advances will result in rejection. People may have feelings of sexual desire, love and attachment for a spouse, but still end up cheating because they have a strong need for approval. In addition, their need for approval can cause them to act in ways that are at odds with their other feelings. In other words, some people cheat, not because they want to cheat, but because they need the approval that comes along with a having the attention of others.
Romantic Infidelity:
This type of infidelity occurs when the cheater has very little emotional attachment to his/her spouse. They may be committed to their marriage and making it work but they long for an intimate, loving connection with a member of the opposite sex. More than likely their commitment to the marriage will prevent them from ever leaving their spouse. Romantic infidelity means pain for the other man/other woman and the cheating spouse.
Rarely does it turn into a long-term, committed relationship. Marital problems have to be quite severe before a spouse will leave the marriage for another person.
Conflicted Romantic Infidelity:
This type of infidelity occurs when people experience genuine love and sexual desire for more than one person at a time. Despite our idealistic notions of having only one true love, it is possible to experience intense romantic love for multiple people at the same time. While such situations are emotionally possible, they are very complicated and tend to create a lot of anxiety and stress. In this case, cheating spouses, in their attempt not to cause anyone harm, often end up hurting everyone.
Commemorative Infidelity:
This type of infidelity occurs when people are in a committed relationship, but have no feelings for that person. There is no sexual desire, or love or attachment, only a sense of commitment keeps a couple together. These people justify cheating by telling themselves they have the right to look for what they are not getting in their present relationship.
It is important, for the sake of appearances that the present relationship last. The cheater does not want to be viewed as a failure so they stay in an unhappy relationship and seek to fulfill their needs outside the relationship.
Friday 16 April 2010
Tattoo a fashion?
Tattoo History
Tattoos are a very old form of body art and have been practiced from a very long time in civilized human history. The history of tattoos is very ancient and seems to be of thousands of years old and even before the birth of Christ. The recorded indication of tattoos comes from the ancient Egypt where wall paintings as old as 2000 BC have been suggesting the use of tattoos in the ancient Egyptian society.
The etymology of word tattoo provides few very different and interesting answers to the current day practicing of making permanent colored marks on human body or tattooing. The word “tattoo” can have many origins as words in many different languages have the same meaning and similar pronunciation. Different civilizations have been recorded to use the word tattoo or at least practicing of coloring their body parts for different reasons have been recorded.
“Tattoo” or “Tatao” or “Tatu”
The Polynesian word “tatao”, which means “to tap”, can be the originator of this word though researchers suggest an Tahitian word “tatu” which means to mark something to be the distant ancestor of the modern word “tattoo”. Many different cavitations in the past and few in the current world have been performing the practice of coloring their body part for different reasons.
In few groups or religions, tattoo is an integral part of their religion and each person following the religion is required to have that tattoo mark on their body symbolizing the person authority as a group member. Even modern day gangs are seen to have a particular mark on their shoulders signifying their group name.
First Electric Tattoo Machine
The first electronic tattoo machine was invented by an American tattoo artist named Samuel O’Reilly in 1890, which gave birth to the new era of tattooing in which people started to have different kind of tattoos on various parts of their body. But tattoos were not respected in its earlier days and were considered as a kind of non sense thing suitable only for drunkards or sailors and sometimes, criminals too.
The popularity of tattoo gained its current weight age after many years of its existence and now, one can find tattoo as a fashion symbol rather than a simple mark. Tattoo indeed have spread across oceans and people even in the undeveloped countries have been practicing the art of tattoo on their body parts. Once what seems as a non sense thing has truly become an integral part of new generation fashion.
http://www.tattoosbydesign.com/history.html
Painful Pleasure
Nose piercing is very attractive, and can accentuate the face, because the nose is the face's most prominent feature; Leonardo Da Vinci believed that the nose set the character of the whole face.
Nose piercing was first recorded in the Middle East aproximately 4,000 years ago, it is mentioned in The Bible in Genesis 24:22 Abraham requested his oldest servant to find a wife for his son Isaac, the servant found Rebekah, and one of the gifts he gave her was a "golden earring" the original Hebrew word used was Shanf, which also translates as "nose-ring".
This practice is still followed among the nomadic Berber and Beja tribes of Africa, and the Bedouins of the Middle East, the size of the ring denotes the wealth of the family. It is given by the husband to his wife at the marriage, and is her security if she is divorced.
Nose piercing was bought to India in the 16th Century from the Middle East by the Moghul emperors. In India a stud (Phul) or a ring (Nath) is usually worn in the left nostril, It is sometimes joined to the ear by a chain, and in some places both nostrils are pierced. The left side is the most common to be pierced in India, because that is the spot associated in Ayuvedra (Indian medicine) with the female reproductive organs, the piercing is supposed to make childbirth easier and lessen period pain.
In the west nose piercing first appeared among the hippies who travelled to India in the Late 1960's. It was later adopted by the Punk movement of the late 1970's as a symbol of rebellion against conservative values, and conservative people like parents and employers still don't react well to it, so consider their reaction carefully before getting it done.
Nowadays nose piercing is gradually becoming more socially acceptable, and many celebrities have their nose pierced i.e. Madonna, Lenny Kravitz, Sinead O'Connor, and Slash from Guns & Roses.
http://www.painfulpleasures.com/piercing_history.htm
Monday 29 March 2010
Why Would You Lie to Boost Your Self-Esteem
Why Would You Lie to Boost Your Self-Esteem
Views: 546
Date: 11th Feb 2009
Do you lie to boost you self-esteem? Making yourself look good in front of others is meaningless if you are not being true to yourself. You will just end up living in Never-never land. The truth will always catch up with you. If you start off being honest in the first place, you are actually giving yourself the strongest starting point to get to where you want to go. You can easily identify what needs to change.
You can argue it is human nature to lie in from of certain people as to save face. Lying uncontrollably in certain situations will prevent you from looking bad. The consequences of lying are further reaching. You may feel you self esteem is boosted in that instant but really it will just create more stress and anxiety for you. You have set a perception of what is now expected of you. If you cannot achieve what you said you can, you will have to tell more lies in order to maintain the perception.
The mountain of lies you create will eventually just cause you to slip up as lies start to contradict themselves. You said one thing to one person, something else to another. Someone somewhere will rumble this, doubt the congruence of your life and also lose respect for you. This will damage any relationship.
So why do you lie? It is because your self-esteem feels threatened. And as your brain does not know the difference between reality and a vivid imagination, you boost your self esteem by deceiving it with the lies. You are only cheating yourself. The only way to stop this is to build a real foundation of self-esteem by accepting who you are right now.
To get more confidence, self-esteem and anxiety tips, visit www.stepupspeakout.co.uk to learn more about how to take control of your life. Sign up and get the 52 Brilliant Ideas Video Series as a free bonus.
Views: 546
Date: 11th Feb 2009
Do you lie to boost you self-esteem? Making yourself look good in front of others is meaningless if you are not being true to yourself. You will just end up living in Never-never land. The truth will always catch up with you. If you start off being honest in the first place, you are actually giving yourself the strongest starting point to get to where you want to go. You can easily identify what needs to change.
You can argue it is human nature to lie in from of certain people as to save face. Lying uncontrollably in certain situations will prevent you from looking bad. The consequences of lying are further reaching. You may feel you self esteem is boosted in that instant but really it will just create more stress and anxiety for you. You have set a perception of what is now expected of you. If you cannot achieve what you said you can, you will have to tell more lies in order to maintain the perception.
The mountain of lies you create will eventually just cause you to slip up as lies start to contradict themselves. You said one thing to one person, something else to another. Someone somewhere will rumble this, doubt the congruence of your life and also lose respect for you. This will damage any relationship.
So why do you lie? It is because your self-esteem feels threatened. And as your brain does not know the difference between reality and a vivid imagination, you boost your self esteem by deceiving it with the lies. You are only cheating yourself. The only way to stop this is to build a real foundation of self-esteem by accepting who you are right now.
To get more confidence, self-esteem and anxiety tips, visit www.stepupspeakout.co.uk to learn more about how to take control of your life. Sign up and get the 52 Brilliant Ideas Video Series as a free bonus.
Social Bandits-Outlaws- Robin Hood
For people seeking justice around the time of Robin Hood the legal system was best avoided. New laws introduced by the Conqueror required that all Saxon freemen swore an oath of fealty (loyalty) to the king. Ten of these oath takers formed a tithing and they were obliged by their oath of loyalty to produce at court any wrongdoers. The sheriff administered the system and if the community failed to produce the culprit the tithing was fined and thus the community from which the felon fled suffered as a consequence.
If the victim of a crime appealed to his local lord for justice the accused person could challenge the complainant to battle. This was the equivalent to trial by ordeal. So if you were an elderly Saxon freeman whose son had been murdered by a young, fit, vigorous Norman you could go to the lord’s court, name the killer and find that the man who had murdered your son demanded the right to do battle with you which was not a very inviting prospect. More than likely the father would be killed as well although he did have the option of asking someone to fight on his behalf but where was the average Saxon villager likely to find such a person? If the father in the above example lost the battle challenge but lived to tell the tale then he would be deemed to be the guilty party and would be heavily fined for false accusation. As can be seen there was little point in seeking justice from the sheriff and there was no one else to appeal to.
Henry II made some reforms and we now have the “petty” jury. They did not hear evidence their job was to find out what had happened and report to the court accordingly. The accused could refuse trial by jury and as the trial jury might well include people who had named him as a criminal in the first place this might be sensible. However this was only putting off the evil day because the prisoner was held in gaol until he agreed to be tried, then later because this was felt to be inadequate even more pressure was applied to the prisoner who had to sit on the cold, bare floor, dressed only in the thinnest of shirts, and pressed with as great weight of iron as his wretched body could bear. His food was a little rotten bread, and his drink cloudy and stinking water. The day on which he ate he was not allowed to drink, and the day on which he had drink he was not allowed to taste bread. Only superhuman strength survived this punishment beyond the fifth or sixth day and some people were pressed to death this way. The advantage of this was that as the accused had not yet been convicted his property still passed to his next of kin otherwise the crown seized the property and land of a convicted felon.
http://www.robinhoodloxley.net/mycustompage0024.htm
Tuesday 16 March 2010
Drugs from a diffrent angle
The effects
* An E gives people an energy buzz that makes them feel alert and alive.
* Ecstasy makes people feel in tune with their surroundings – sounds and colours are more intense.
* Users often feel great love for the people they're with and the strangers around them. On its own, it’s not a drug that makes people violent.
* Lots of people feel chatty on E. (These chats don't always make sense to people who aren't on an E).
Chances of getting hooked
It's possible to build up tolerance to E, which means people take more to get the same buzz. You may also develop a psychological dependence (the desire to keep on using even in spite of potential harm).
There’s some uncertainty about the long term side effects of Es. But evidence suggests it can cause damage to the brain causing long term problems – like depression, personality change and memory loss.
The law
Ecstasy is a Class A drug - illegal to have, give away or sell. Possession can get you up to seven years in jail. Supplying someone else, including your friends, can get you life and an unlimited fine.
Appearance and use
Pure Ecstasy is a white crystalline powder known to chemists as MDMA.
Ecstasy sold on the street is usually in tablet form although it's getting more common to see it sold as powder. Es come in all sorts of colours and some of them have pictures or logos stamped into them.
They’re usually swallowed although some people do smoke or snort them. People have been known to take another E when they haven't initially felt the expected ‘high’. The danger then is that both Es kick in and you’ve a double dose to deal with.
Friday 5 March 2010
DRUGS Cocaine
Cocaine
Cocaine powder, freebase and crack are all forms of cocaine. They are stimulants with powerful, but short-lived, effects. Stimulants temporarily speed up the processes of your mind and body. ‘Freebase’ cocaine and ‘crack’ cocaine, can be smoked, and so can reach the brain very rapidly in high dosage. Snorted powder cocaine is absorbed more slowly. Hence, smoked freebase or crack tends to be much stronger and more addictive than snorted powder cocaine. However, all forms of cocaine prepared for injection (whether powder cocaine or crack) can also reach the brain rapidly in high doses and so can be very addictive too.
Slang: Street names for drugs can vary around the country. For powder cocaine – coke, Charlie, C, white, Percy, snow, toot. For crack – rocks, wash, stones, pebbles, base, freebase
(http://www.talktofrank.com/drugs.aspx?id=106)
Second Hand Smoking
Secondhand (Passive) Smoking
Woman having a drink
Secondhand smoke comes from the tip of a cigarette and the smoke that is breathed back out by the smoker. Wherever people smoke, there is secondhand smoke in the air although you might not notice it because it is almost invisible and odourless.
Even if you open a window, secondhand smoke will still be present in a room after two and a half hours! Even if you can't see or smell any smoke, it's probably still there. Smoking in a car is even worse because all of the smoke is concentrated into a small space.
SECONDHAND SMOKE CONTAINS 4,000 TOXIC CHEMICALS
People that breath secondhand smoke are at risk of the same diseases as smokers, including cancer and heart disease, because secondhand smoke contains 4,000 toxic chemicals. It is estimated that secondhand smoke causes thousands of deaths each year.
Children are particularly affected by secondhand smoke because their bodies are still developing, and around half of all British children are growing up in homes where at least one parent is a smoker.
SMOKEFREE PUBLIC PLACES
Virtually all enclosed public places and workplaces in England are now smokefree. It is against the law to smoke in the indoor parts of public places like pubs, bars, nightclubs, cafés and restaurants, lunch rooms, membership clubs and shopping centres.
Indoor smoking rooms are no longer allowed in the workplace. Public transport and work vehicles used by more than one person are also smokefree.
(http://smokefree.nhs.uk/why-go-smokefree/secondhand-smoke)
The Effects Of Lying In Relationships
The Effects Of Lying In Relationships
When was the last time you lied to your partner? And why did you do it?
It’s time to change this habit for good using this multi track recording the trust you have lost can be rebuild. Lying is habituated behaviour usually driven by either fear of someone feeling badly towards you or the desire to be 'accepted', or liked. I work to repattern these thoughts to allow you to express yourself truthfully and feel good about doing so.
Some people will struggle to remember the time or even the reason. But for other people the answer to the first question could well be ‘Today’. And there could be lots of answers to the second question.
Compulsive lying puts any relationship on an uncertain footing. Think how your partner must feel if they know you are more likely to tell a lie than the truth. If you were to quit being a liar however, and stop telling lies on a regular basis, you might be surprised by how much stronger your relationship will become over time.
Why do people lie to their partners?
Ironically the reason is often to protect their partner. For example, one man decided to start lying to his wife when his business started to have financial difficulties. Although he was trying to keep her from finding out the awful truth, it came out eventually anyway – and the fallout was much worse than it would have been had he decided to stop telling lies right from the start.
The constant lying meant that when his wife did find out, she immediately lost her trust in him. And that kind of trust takes a long time to rebuild.
The snowball effect
It could be that you think your little white lies are doing no harm to your relationship. But if this is the case then you might want to reconsider – because the only way to conserve the trust you have is to stop telling lies altogether.
You see, what often happens is that someone will tell a small lie to a partner in order to smooth over a situation or avoid a confrontation. It works perfectly, so the next time the situation comes up they do exactly the same thing. There seems to be no reason for them to stop telling lies because they are making the relationship more settled.
But gradually and surely the honesty and trust are both being eroded. The snowball effect also means that it becomes more and more tempting to lie about bigger things – even when there is no real reason to do so. It becomes harder to stop telling lies, and that slippery slope has led from a simple white lie to something much darker instead
(http://www.stoplying.net/stop-telling-lies.php?gclid=CNCUyNC9oqACFR88lAoddnlsZw)
Reasons for bad behaviour is linked to gene's
The chances of anti-social behaviour among boys who are maltreated as they grow up may be determined by their genetic make-up, research suggests.
Researchers from King's College in London have found that boys who have a particular version of a gene are much more likely to go off the rails if they suffer maltreatment when young.
The results provide evidence that a person's genetic make up can influence their sensitivity to environmental factors
Professor Terrie Moffitt
The discovery raises the possibility of developing drugs to combat crime, the scientists believe.
But critics are concerned that youngsters could be labelled as potential troublemakers before they have committed any crime.
They also fear that governments may turn to using drugs to fight crime, rather than tackling deep-rooted social problems.
Enzyme levels
The gene in question controls activity of an enzyme called monoamine oxidase A (MAOA).
The researchers studied a group of young men, of whom 154 had been maltreated, 33 severely.
They found that those who carried a version of the gene linked to low levels of MAOA production were much more likely to indulge in anti-social behaviour such as violent crime.
Conversely, anti-social behaviour was much less likely among the group who carried a version of the gene linked to higher MAOA levels.
Brain chemicals
MAOA breaks down brain chemicals that have been shown to be involved in several aspects of behaviour, including aggression.
Don't add to the problem by layering in a new generation of so-called violence preventing drugs
Professor Stephen Post
Researcher Professor Terrie Moffitt said: "A third of the population have a genetic makeup associated with low activity of MAOA, and at first we could not show a link between genetic make-up and violence in the study.
"However, if those individuals with the at-risk genetic make-up were also maltreated, then they were much more likely to develop antisocial behaviour."
The researchers found 12% of the 442 individuals studied were men had been maltreated, and who had the gene linked to low MAOA levels.
However, this group were responsible for 44% of violent crimes committed by the whole sample group.
Professor Moffitt said: "The results provide evidence that a person's genetic make up can influence their sensitivity to environmental factors.
"These findings may also partly explain why not all victims of maltreatment grow up to victimise others - some genes may actually promote resistance to stress and trauma."
Professor Stephen Post, an expert in bioethics at Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, US, warned against jumping to the conclusion that the breakthrough could be used to develop new drugs to treat anti-social behaviour.
He said: "Many people will have the genetic susceptibility and yet show remarkable resiliency in the face of maltreatment, going on to live constructive lives.
"Violence in maltreated children is a major issue. Stop the maltreatment, and don't add to the problem by layering in a new generation of so-called violence preventing drugs."
Bad Behaviour - Teenager
There are very few perfectly behaved teenagers. Many of them take part in some kind of dangerous, unhealthy or anti-social pursuit.
Activities like drinking, smoking, watching adult videos or having under-age sex are common in teenagers. Some even get up to more serious things like stealing or taking drugs.
It's alarming for parents, but the good news is - it doesn't last. Statistics for boys show that teenage criminal behaviour tends to begin around the age of 13, peak at 17 and then disappear almost completely in early adulthood.
Independent minds
Rebelling in teenagers is often symbolic. They want to look grown up and impress their friends. If parents disapprove, it often makes teenage behaviour worse and arguments are common. They defy adult restrictions deliberately as a way of asserting their independence. Teenagers have reason to be confused because they are part of the adult world in a biological sense, but are still not permitted to do many of the things that adults can.
Taking risks
Experimentation is a way for teenagers to learn to take responsibility for their own actions. It is a step towards becoming more mature and adult-like and in learning to make choices and decisions. Risky behaviour is seen by adults as being a 'bad' thing, but for the teenagers there are many rewards. By pushing boundaries they are developing their identity as well as showing off in front of friends. There are suggestions from recent research that some bad teenage behaviour could be a sign of a healthy personality.
Growing brains
There is one other reason why teenagers might rebel. Scientists have used advanced scanning methods to study the changes that occur in the adolescent brain. Much to their surprise, they have discovered that the brain continues to develop and grow well into the teenage years.
This might explain a teenager's risk-taking behaviour. It has emerged that the emotional region of the brain develops to maturity ahead of the part of the brain that controls rational thought. In other words, teenagers have well-developed emotions and feelings but have still not acquired the ability to think things through. When they act impulsively, and do the kind of dangerous things an adult would avoid, their brain's late development might be to blame.
Teenagers' well developed emotions could also be the cause of another characteristic they are often accused of - moodiness.
(http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/articles/emotions/teenagers/rebellion.shtml)
Saturday 27 February 2010
Stalking
Definition of Stalking
Stalking: An intrusive (not necessarily overt) pattern of surveillance directed at a specific person that causes a reasonable person to be unnerved or afraid for her/his safety.
Some one in 12 women is stalked in her lifetime, and over 75 percent of women murdered by a husband or boyfriend were stalked by them first. Did you know that most stalking victims aren’t celebrities, and that most victims aren’t stalked by strangers, but by people they already know?
TV producer who stalked married woman and Googled her name 40,000 times is jailed
Elliot Fogel, who worked for Sky Sports News, bombarded Claire Waxman with Valentine cards, late night phone calls, messages and flowers over a seven-year period, despite being arrested and convicted of harrassing her.
He turned up outside Mrs Waxman's house one Christmas Day and jogged on the spot, lied his way into her child's nursery and even used her wedding photographs as his computer screensaver.
Mrs Waxman, a mother of two, was distraught after he twice breached a restraining order and said she had been left "like a sitting duck".
The court heard she suffered a miscarriage, sleepless nights and an eating disorder because of the harassment.
It got so unbearable that she moved home five times to get away from him and even considered emigrating.
Fogel, 34, who has already been given a suspended sentence and £3,500 compensation order, which still hasn't been paid, has now been sentenced to 16 weeks jail for a second breach of the restraining order.
Mrs Waxman first met Fogel when they studied for A-levels at Oaklands College, St Albans in the early 1990s. He had showed an interest in her then, but it wasn't until more than ten years later that he began stalking her.
In her impact statement, read at Wood Green Crown Court yesterday, Mrs Waxman criticised the criminal justice system.
She said: "Instead of preventing something terrible from happening, I feel like we have been left like sitting ducks waiting for something to happen.
"This is a man who.... has no moral compass. He has no respect for me, my family, the law and I feel not even himself and that's what makes him such a danger to society and me.
Mrs Waxman, who attended the sentencing hearing with her husband Marc, continued: "I have to worry constantly for our safety and the safety of my two small children.
"To him this is most definitely a game. He has nothing in his life and all he chooses to do is to pursue me and my family.
"The mental harm of all these years is getting too hard to bear. My life has been ruined by this man in so many ways."
Kwame Biney, prosecuting, said Fogel, who is from Isleworth, West London, had searched Mrs Waxman's address on Google Earth as well as looking into details of her husband and ex-boyfriends.
However, Darryl Cherrett, mitigating, claimed Fogel was "just an incompetent suitor" with no psychiatric problems.
He said: "There never has been and never was any suggestion by him of threatening behaviour or behaviour that could be associated with violence.
"He is the incompetent suitor. He had never intended to cause her harassment, alarm or distress.
"He's a loner, someone who is socially inadequate."
Mrs Waxman, who runs a complementary health business in Willesden Green, North London, broke down in tears during the hearing.
Judge Fraser Morrison told Fogel: "That court order came about because Mrs Waxman wanted some peace from you because you weren't able to take the hint that any relationship you wanted with her was not going to take place.
"A custodial sentence has to be passed because of the psychological effect on Mrs Waxman and the deliberate nature of that conduct."
Shoplifting
England captain John Terry's mother 'shoplifted flip-flops, a tracksuit, leggings and pet food
Pet food, flip flops and casual clothing were said to be among the items allegedly shoplifted by England football captain John Terry's mother and mother-in-law, it emerged today.
Sue Terry, 50, and Sue Poole, 54, were arrested and cautioned after being caught with £800 of clothes and groceries from Tesco and Marks & Spencer.
Among the items were said to be girls' flip flops, leggings, casual shirts, men's and ladies' watches, a green track suit and groceries including sweets and pet food.
The two women, who live on the same exclusive street as the £135,000-a-week Chelsea star, were stopped by police as they loaded their car at an out-of-town shopping centre in Weybridge, Surrey.
Officers had been alerted by security staff who were suspicious about their behaviour.
Tesco is the official England supermarket and proudly mentions on its website its recognition of the 'importance of football as the national sport'.
The store's chief executive Sir Terry Leahy is also one of the vice-presidents for the country's bid to host the 2018 World Cup. As for Marks & Spencer, it provides the England team with suits.
Terry - who has turned his image around after once having a reputation for gambling, drinking and womanising - lives in a palatial home on a private estate with his beautician wife Toni and their two-year-old twins.
His mother-in-law Sue Poole and her husband Alan, who used to live in Essex, moved into a neighbouring home in Oxshott, Surrey, in 2007.
Police are said to have been stunned when they realised the identity of the two women they had arrested.
'They're women who want for nothing, yet they were accused of taking cheap gear without paying,' a source told one newspaper.
< http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1165218/England-captain-John-Terrys-mother-shoplifted-flip-flops-tracksuit-leggings-pet-food.html#ixzz0gkj05YNu>
When is lying okay ?
When is it OK to lie?
The philosopher Sissela Bok put forward a process for testing whether a lie could be justified. She calls it the test of publicity:
The test of publicity asks which lies, if any, would survive the appeal for justification to reasonable persons.
Sissela Bok, Lying: Moral Choice in Public and Private Life, 1978
If we were to apply this test as a thought experiment we would bring together a panel of everyone affected by a particular lie - the liar, those lied to and everyone who might be affected by the lie.
We would then put forward all our arguments for telling a particular lie and then ask that 'jury' of relevant and reasonable persons if telling this lie was justified.
But what could we do in the real world?
* First inspect our own conscience and ask whether the lie is justified
* Second, ask friends or colleagues, or people with special ethical knowledge what they think about the particular case
* Thirdly, consult some independent persons about it
This sort of test is most useful when considering what we might call 'public' lying - when an institution is considering just how much truth to tell about a project - perhaps a medical experiment, or a proposed war, or an environmental development.
One executive observed to this writer that a useful test for the justifiability of an action that he was uncertain about was to imagine what the press would write afterwards if they discovered what he had done and compared it to what he had said in advance.
In most cases of personal small scale lying there is no opportunity to do anything more than consult our own conscience - but we should remember that our conscience is usually rather biased in our favour.
A good way of helping our conscience is to ask how we would feel if we were on the receiving end of the lie. It's certainly not foolproof, but it may be helpful.
Bok sets out some factors that should be considered when contemplating a lie:
* Are there some truthful alternatives to using a lie to deal with the particular problem?
* What moral justifications are there for telling this lie - and what counter-arguments can be raised against those justifications?
* What would a public jury of reasonable persons say about this lie?
Lies that don't deceive are not sinful lies...or are they?
If both parties know that the liar's statement is NOT intended to be taken as a definitive and important statement of the truth then it may not count as a sinful lie, because there's no intention to deceive.
There are many cases where no reasonable person expects what is said to them to be genuinely truthful.
That may let us off the hook for things like:
* Flattery: 'you look lovely'
* Gratitude: 'that's just what I wanted'
* Formal language conventions: 'sincerely yours', 'pleased to meet you'
* Bargaining: 'my best price is £500'
* Generalisation: 'it always rains in Manchester'
* Advertising: '#### washes whitest'
o If believing the advert might lead to bad consequences - for example in medical advertising - this would not count as a guilt-free lie.
* Jokes: 'there was an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman'
* Unpredictable situations: 'it won't rain today'
* Sporting tips: 'Pegleg is unbeatable in the 3:30 race'
* False excuses: 'he's in a meeting'
* Conjuring tricks: 'There's nothing up my sleeve'
It's not always easy to see the difference between these statements and white lies.
Incidentally the Ethics web team disagreed amongst themselves as to the status of lies that don't deceive - your thoughts are very welcome.
Smoking the positive side!
(http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/jdu/lowres/jdun460l.jpg)
Smoking is bad for you. Anyone who has watched TV or gone to health class knows this. But everyone also knows that cheeseburgers are bad for you and continue to scarf them down. The benefits of cheeseburgers are obvious: delicious, juicy, hearty taste. What are the benefits of smoking?
All you hear about all day is why you shouldn’t smoke, and how bad it is for your health. Then why is everyone smoking in the first place, and how do smokers come up with thousands of reasons not to quit. Nicotine is very addicting, but that’s not the only reason smokers keep smoking. Smoking has many benefits biologically and emotionally. Knowing these can help you replace these benefits through healthier means when you try to quit.
Smoking Relieves Stress
This is the most common thing you hear from smokers about the benefits of smoking. This is because cigarettes create a myriad of conditions that help the body deal with anxiety, stress, and depression.
Smoking Relaxes Your Breathing
The way you breathe when you smoke helps your body relax and calm down. For people who have panic attacks or stress problems, Doctors recommend patients practice a sort of breathing called relaxation breathing. Among other things, it involves taking a deep breath into the lungs and holding it in for a second or two before exhaling. This is exactly like the act of smoking. This kind of breathing slows your heart rate and relieves tension in your muscles, especially your neck and upper back, which tense up in stressful situations.
Outside Smoke Breaks Calm You Down
If you go outside for smoke breaks, this simple act can really help you deal with your stress. Say if you’re in a fight with your spouse or close to the deadline on a major project for work, leaving the house or office to step outside for a smoke break helps you deal with the stress.
Read more at Suite101: Benefits of Smoking: Cigarettes Have Mental/Physical Pros, Knowing Them Can Help You Quit http://asthmalungdisease.suite101.com/article.cfm/benefits_of_smoking#ixzz0gkdLLecC
Nicotine is an Anxiety and Depression Medication
The nicotine in cigarettes is also a major factor of stress relief. Nicotine is a chemical which mildly and temporarily stops the feelings of anxiety and depression. After an inhale of cigarette smoke, the nicotine reacts in your brain chemistry within seven seconds. Nicotine makes the brain feel better, and stops the chain reaction anxiety and depression can have within the brain. It is no surprise that 1/3 of nicotine addicts claim to have depression or anxiety problems. Cigarettes are a great form of self medication.
Read more at Suite101: Benefits of Smoking: Cigarettes Have Mental/Physical Pros, Knowing Them Can Help You Quit http://asthmalungdisease.suite101.com/article.cfm/benefits_of_smoking#ixzz0gkdTmaSpjavascript:void(0)
http://asthmalungdisease.suite101.com/article.cfm/benefits_of_smoking
Wednesday 3 February 2010
DRUGS
Starting drugs at a young age can ruin your life. This then leads to a unsuccessful future in terms if health, education, relationships and their general attitude to life.
This then affects the future generation i.e. children who inherit their parents poverty and all the characteristics of being a drug addict and therefore not being able to achieve their potential.
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